Wondering how to be more confident with yourself?
What does it really mean to be self confident?
Why is having confidence in yourself important?
I could start by giving you dictionary-like answers to these questions but…
I doubt that will help you understand or help you build up the self confidence you need…
So I am going to take a different approach…
When you see a confident person,
You can simply tell…
They have this thing about them that we can’t really describe….
It’s almost Instinctual…..
They are outspoken, well groomed and simply just……confident.
In other words…..they handle themselves very well…
It’s like they know how and what to say even when they have no idea what you are talking about…
They always seen to be the most well dressed in the room and have a distinct ability to start a conversation with any and everyone without being shy or looking away …
When they are in a room, their presence is noticed, and they command respect without actually demanding for it…
That’s amazing, isn’t it?
So what is self confidence….
Here’s my definition….well at least one you won’t find in the Oxford dictionary….
Self confidence is simply trusting yourself and your instincts….
it’s knowing yourself to the core,
Your flaws and your strengths and having a certain level of trust and belief in yourself and your capabilities.
It is knowing that there are other people out there who are better looking than you, smarter than you and probably even richer than you but not comparing yourself to them in any way…mentally or otherwise..
And so to answer another question….how can you build self confidence?
The answer becomes simple….
You build up your self confidence by only seeing your ideal self….as your present competition…
What do I mean?
Let me explain…
It’s easier to see someone who exudes self confidence and think…..”oh I want to be like them”….
In that sense, they become your competition and in your mind, they are mentally superior to you….
But what if there’s a standard you have set for yourself of what you want to look like…be like and act like and you can even envision yourself being all these things…that version of yourself you see…becomes your competition.
You strive everyday to become that version of you.
The thing is….
You can’t talk about self confidence without addressing the most important issue….
Which is low self esteem and a very high self judgement.
A lot of people will tell you that to increase your self esteem you need to stop comparing yourself, and also say and think positive words to yourself,
That’s true and all….but it doesn’t just stop at that….
You could do these things everyday and still have a low sense of self…
And that’s because you don’t actually believe the words you are telling yourself…
And whenever you see that person who you think has it all, you are stuck wondering….why can’t I be like that….
That’s because there’s an underlying issue you aren’t addressing…
There’s a reason that person looks like they have it all…
Ask yourself why…..
What is self confidence to you?
Is it being able to speak up?
Is it being able to say no?
Or is it just being comfortable in your own skin….?
If you can answer any of these questions you have your answer.
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Most of the time when people try to portray self confidence, especially when they don’t have it…
It comes off as rudeness…
The reason is usually simple….you are trying to create something that simply isn’t there…
And if that’s true….let let’s take a look at how you can build up your self confidence from within…
Not just portraying it.
There are so many ways to build up your self confidence, and it’s really easy…
You need to change the way you look at yourself….
let’s look at the behavior of two people when an unexpected rain begins to fall ..
One of them was so happy to see the rain, she jumped out under it, eager to get herself wet and drenched….
But the other person was upset and uncomfortable that the rain was falling at that specific point in time….
Because he was coming back from work…
What’s my point?
Notice how a simple mindset change can be the difference between happiness and sadness?
Here are 15 ways anyone can change their mindset to become more self confident.
Everyone, no matter the social class or amount of money in the bank has one thing in common…
If you have more strengths than weakness, that’s great, but if you don’t….
It also affects your self confidence
The only way to get over it is to work on your weaknesses….
What do i mean?
When you work on your weaknesses and build up what you don’t have in yourself to the point where you actually have it…then you aren’t pretending…
You become really self confident because you are confident in your abilities as well…
It is something that comes from within.
The most confident people all have one thing in common….
A distinct ability to keep improving themselves …..everyday…
It can be anything from, going for a daily fitness class, signing up for a language course…
Studying more….etc…
They are always busy trying to improve themselves in one way or the other…
And you should too!
Never stop trying to be better…
Take a look at your life and figure out what your best self looks like…
Then wake up everyday and work on it, bring the pieces together one at a time.
Before you know it…..you are that version of yourself you want to be!
When it comes to personal development, goal setting is vital,
Not just because it clears your head and gives you a straight view of what you need to do to get where you are going but also because you have the luxury of saying when you want to achieve these goals.
In other words, you have the luxury to design your life and your future in your time.
So go ahead and set goals that you know you can achieve.
Set milestones that bring you closer and closer to your end goal.
Keeping busy everyday with a goal or task at hand boosts your self confidence.
One very good quality of a confident person is the fact that they always see themselves as students…
Students of everything, life, food, culture etc….literally everything….
Meaning that they are always curious and their curiosity leads them to know more and find out more….
That is why they are usually very knowledgeable on various topics and when they don’t know something they never have a problem asking…
No matter how it makes them look.
You can never see yourself as a self confident person if your mindset is designed to make you feel like you are less….
The terrible things about having a negative mindset is that it crawls up on you especially when you have no idea and corrupt everything you work hard for…
It can start with simple statements like “I can’t do it” or “they won’t like me” or “what if they hate me”….
But then it spreads out until your entire self esteem is gone and you see everything from a negative point of view…
Luckily there are signs that tell you that you need a positive mindset….
Watch out for those signs…
And learn how to get rid of a negative mindset once and for all.
It is almost impossible to improve your self confidence if you find it hard to get out of your comfort zone and try new things…
There’s just so much to do and to experience out there that staying in a circle with only the things you know can be limiting…
So make a choice today, to get out of your comfort zone and experience it all!
Sign up for things you have always wanted to try out….explore new places and ideas….
This will help you improve your overall knowledge and not keep you shortsighted.
There’s this confidence that comes with just knowing or having knowledge about something.
It’s refreshing, makes you feel like you could do anything if you put your mind to it…
This is the type of energy you need,
A boost that makes you feel like you have your things together and even if you don’t, you are on your way to having it figured out.
It can be anything from cycling to dancing, drawing etc….
Simply invest time in a hobby.
Most of the time, we look at criticism the wrong way,
When someone criticizes us, we think maybe they don’t like us, or maybe they are just out to get you…
But 70% of the time, that really isn’t the case, they probably just need you to correct that simple thing about yourself.
Criticism is very important for self development, it helps you understand what ways you need to improve.
So, instead of looking at criticism as a bad thing, open up your mind to accept corrections and suggestions so you can be better in general.
Comparison can be detrimental, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone else.
It reduces your self confidence and self esteem and makes you see the other person as a competition instead of what they could be – A Mentor.
The only time you should ever compare yourself is when you are trying to figure out if you are growing…
This way, you compare your current self to your past self to see how you have improved so far and give yourself a pat on the back for the progress.
Then compare your current self to your ideal self to see what more improvements need to be made for you to become the best version of you.
YOU ARE YOUR ONLY COMPETITION
This is very important,
How you present yourself most of the time determines how you see yourself.
If you like what you see, it increases your self confidence, but if you don’t, it reduces your self confidence.
If you don’t like how you present yourself, feel free to change it and never stop improving upon it,
Until you are confident enough to walk into any room knowing that you love the way you look.
You will be able to start conversations and be more active just because you know you present yourself well.
But self presentation doesn’t just stop at improving your outward appearance,
The way you talk, walk and behave are key points for improving your self image.
Do whatever it takes to improve them, and you will notice your self confidence rise with it.
Building self confidence is one thing, but portraying it is another.
It is possible to be self confident but lack the necessary skills to portray it effectively… which can make people think you are not self confident when you actually are.
This is something that is a bit personal for me, but makes such a huge difference,
A slouching posture can portray a lack of self confidence in ones self…
Just because it always seems like you are looking down at your feet,
It’s very important to work on your posture, standing or sitting upright can give the impression that you are self confident it also helps to improve your self image.
Here is a really good posture corrector you can use if you find yourself slouching.
Just like your posture, the way you speak is another giveaway of a self confident person.
Someone who is not very self confident may speak in hushed tones with low volume as though they are not sure of what they are saying.
Now am not saying you should be very loud….lol…
But clearly speaking your mind with clear and proper words show that you know what you are talking about.
It is also important to not just speak properly but use words that are grammatically correct when speaking.
One very important attribute of a confident person is that they are usually very energetic and enthusiastic about whatever it is they are doing.
They carry that positive energy everywhere they go and put it into everything they do,
This makes whatever they do seem very interesting and full of life,
Having a negative attitude will give the impression that you aren’t confident or interested in whatever you are doing and will make others draw away from you instead of towards you.
After all, nobody wants negativity in their life.
When wondering how to be more confident with yourself, we can’t overlook the most important point…
Self confident people are usually well informed,
They are up to date with the latest information and always seem to know so much, mostly because they keep learning and are interested to find out new things
This way they are always ready to contribute to whatever the discussion may be.
Try it today, read the news, read a book and see how well it helps your conversational skills!
A confident person is a great conversation starter, they can speak with literally everyone about literally everything
And even when they don’t know about what is being talked about, they ask questions and are great listeners.
The topic doesn’t have to be about anything specific, it can even be just a comment or a compliment..
Emulate this attitude today, set a challenge for yourself to start a conversation with 5 people and see how it goes..
Who knows you might end up making some new friends!
Asides the fact that self confident people are well spoken,
One thing they all have in common is that they are all approachable and you really feel like you can relate and talk with them, even if you don’t really know them
They have this smile that makes you feel comfortable talking with them.
Copy this quality, try to smile more, to everyone and with everyone….
It makes you seem more relatable and will help improve your relationship with people around you.
The last and most important way to portray self confidence is to dress smartly…
Upgrade your wardrobe, shave properly, take care of your nails, get a manicure and pedicure, style your hair properly, wear clothes that fit you and just simply be presentable.
There are so many ways to look stylish without breaking the bank, take some of these tips into consideration and put them into practice.
The more confident you are in the way you dress, the more confident you will be in the way you talk, act and behave.
There you have it!..
My very comprehensive list on how to be more confident with yourself…
Not just to portray self confidence but how to build it up and actually have it.
Self confidence takes some time to build up, so don’t get frustrated if you don’t get it immediately..
Keep working on it because you deserve it!
Are you a self confident person?, if yes, what does self confidence mean to you?
Anything you think i missed?
I love to hear from you….
Leave a comment below letting me know!
Ciao!
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